Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Prelude:

To those of you who have the pleasure of knowing this pain-in-the-ass camel-loving Arab; ‘RIDDL3R’ (Mr. Smith) would need no introduction. The ones who don’t have an acquaintance with him, you’re letting the best in life pass you buy, I shit you not! RIDDL3R is funny, he is sassy, he is eccentric and he is a guy with THE best sense of humor I’ve ever seen on IRC, hands down! And this interview here will give you a whiff of where this assessment is coming from.

So, obviously, any chick getting frisky with this mofo shouldn’t have raised any eyebrow whatsoever! Right? And yet, when my sixth sense started banging on the alarm-drums like a vengeance.. I KNEW something was up… something just didn’t feel right!

SoniZz (Mrs. Smith), usually too smart to give anything away, played this one slightly wrong.. she over-did it.

Like an actress, so consumed by her pursuance, that she forgot how to be canny, and natural.. may be she got too clever for her own good. And so when she started to get EXTRA mean and disdainful towards RIDDL3R, for no apparently reason, I KNEW I am onto something! But I was confused as to how come its happening right under out noses without anybody noticing it??

Well, someone DID notice eventually; and that someone was ME, lol… who was always partially immune to the deadliest of SoniZz’ weapons… her perfection of Reverse Psychology! An impregnable shell she keeps wearing to confound her enemies; it just wouldn’t work on me… I could see the stream of her naked thoughts, right through the veils… and she bloody knew it! 😀 I mean I KNOW SoniZz, and the way she rolls! She is only ‘mean’ to the people who are closest to her (like yours truly, lol)
But RIDDL3R, wtf? How come? When? A colossal mindf**k, lol!

So apropos to the aforementioned details, my silent and unrelenting surveillance began on both of these scum bags. RIDDL3R never leaves any lose ends; even during the interviews, he was extra careful; and gave NOTHING away, nothing publishable anyway! But SoniZz eventually broke under searing heat of my inquisition; and validated my ever-growing dubiety! I can be VERY persuasive when it comes to semantics, hah!

You will see a confession or two which are being published; but most of the ‘interesting stuff’ isn’t! Because, hell, this is IRC after all… not a place for fairy tales and happy endings… revelations should be careful! RIDDL3R knows this, SoniZz will… the hard way!

*sigh* c’est la vie!

Interviews of Mr. & Mrs. Smith are being published together for obvious reasons, kek!

Nicks: RIDDL3R (Mr. Smith) / SoniZz (Mrs. Smith)

Note: I do not temper with the answers, I have copy/pasted everything. However, some comments i have written underneath some of the answers… pun is intended, lol!
[Dauntless]

Tell me something about yourself. Ideally, something which is not common knowledge.

SoniZz: I can be very passive aggressive, without people sensing it

RIDDLER: I used to be part of an activist group, that eventually became something darker than it started off as, which is why I left

What inspired your nick?

SoniZz: I was 13 when i came up with this nick. Z’s. Were very popular at that time 6:13 PM And since my name is sonia.. Well you know lol

RIDDLER: I went to school with this kid Ryan, in the 4th grade, who was obsessed with Riddler from Batman, he used to draw question marks on every fucking page of his notebook, that kinda stuck with me coz I used to sit with him and eventually I decided I like the nick

What made you joined IRC? And why do you use it?

SoniZz: I joined back in 2001 cuz a. Cousin of mien who lives in Pakistan asked me to join him and his friends

RIDDLER: Gaming, I joined first in 2003 coz I was a mod for an esports website and they required everyone to be on Quakenet

If you had to change your nick, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that nick?

SoniZz: I guess I would change it to quirky .. Cuz i am a bit quirky

RIDDLER: It would be “McPenis Fillet” because I have a huge dick

If you had to change your nick, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that nick?

SoniZz: I guess I would change it to quirky .. Cuz i am a bit quirky

RIDDLER: It would be “McPenis Fillet” because I have a huge dick

Do you prefer being anonymous on IRC? If Yes, Why?

SoniZz: Not really, Most people here know me

RIDDLER: I prefer being anonymous on the internet in general, I think privacy is not a privilege, its a right that everyone should have

Have you ever met anyone from IRC? If yes, who?

SoniZz: No, i haven’t yet

RIDDLER: Nope, dont plan to either

[Yea right, like we believe this shit! 😀 ]

Is there any channel on IRC you want completely destroyed? If yes, why?

SoniZz: #Pakistan, Cuz it would be fun… To see the admin go down loool

RIDDLER: Yes I would like to destroy #uranus, for obvious reasons

Who on IRC do you like/dislike the most? One nick for each.

SoniZz: I like RIDDL3R the most, This cannot come out lol / Dislike? Umm, Marie!

RIDDLER: I like like-minded people, I dont really have a single nick to give, but I guess it could be NotK.. I dont also really dislike anyone, let me think.. Lets say Neo

[SoniZz was forced by me to allow me to publish this answer, lol]

Who is the person whom you wish you had met in RL, not through IRC?

SoniZz: Giggles ?

RIDDLER: Would have loved to meet maskedlua in real so I can call him a faggot IRL

Who is the person you think about when you are not on IRC?

SoniZz: RIDDL3R i guess, I have to join to kick him, Make him miserable Lmao

RIDDLER: ROFL.. I only think about SoniZz … YEAH FUCK YOU! …I could say that any time at any place loool … WHAT NOW??

And so we finally hand the first nuance of the confessions, from both the love bird! ;D

What’s your worst memory from IRC?

SoniZz: Lool, Umm, When candy ditched me for faryad loll, She couldn’t even play along , Sigh

RIDDLER: When someone from IRC tracked down my office reception number and called it asking for me

What is the hottest (Most Catchy) nick you find on IRC? What is the least attractive nick?

SoniZz: Hottest nick: SheWhoMustNotBeNamed / Least attractive nick: funnybone lol

RIDDLER: Hottest nick? I dont want to say it, kek / Least sexy, Hmm, Most guy’s names lolol

Most guys’ name? Like Aly? or Ehmath? or Khurram? May be! lol

What was the weirdest conversation you have overheard on IRC?

SoniZz: Must be some conversation btwn Dionysus and kitab lol… Dio was telling her tht he was coming to isb … N she was like “Aa jao” , They went into details.. .She said k wo khudh khana bana le gi us k liye… Then they were gona go out and dio asks her If he should send his driver to pick her up.. She goes like driver ko q bhejna..Khudh hi aa jaana .. It was just weird cuz at that time he was so against her, bad mein sajh aayi k dono ka patch up hogaya ho ga

RIDDLER: Some dude asking to buy used panties from a fat chick .. it was insane, he wanted to exchange it for xbox games or something .. Coz she used to play on the xbone … And he was weirdly into hair too, he always wanted hair pics from everyone

After 10 years, when/if you are gone from IRC, what you will be most nostalgic about?

SoniZz: The 3Ds 😛 (Dauntless, Dionysus and Diamond)

RIDDLER: Mostly just shooting the shit with the folks here, especially on nights when you’re bored af or about to spark a joint

What is the most interesting activity imaginable on IRC?

SoniZz: Haha Umm.. Kicking people.. Lollllll That’s says alot….Or maybe playing trivia With your friends

RIDDLER: Getting nudes from bitches

What was the most uncomfortable thing you’ve had to do out of politeness on IRC?

SoniZz: Talking to girls I don’t know… Then try to invite them to venture… Ty Diamond :@

RIDDLER: Absolutely nothing, I dont give two fucks about being polite, if I dont want to do something I wont do it, period

[“Ty Diamond? Did she just corroborate the accusations of inviting on Diamond? Whoa!! :O]

If you go back in past, which one thing you would like to change in your IRC history?

SoniZz: (I would change the fact) That i had been so friendly with everyone… Not everyone was worth It

RIDDLER: If I had a time machine, I’d go back and stop myself from saying hi to DIamond

First think of a product. Which person on IRC can you associate with it the most?

SoniZz: Product is A Macbook / Association: Diamond

RIDDLER: Product is Mcdonalds, I’m hungry Lolol / Association: Anyone fat honestly.

Name one of your enemies on IRC which you would rather wish to be friends with?

SoniZz: No one that i can’t think of … Except for funnybone … But we did end up being friends … Lol … Mostly because of him though

RIDDLER: I dont even think I have any enemies lul

Name your IRC crush, if any?

SoniZz: lol..RIDDL3R lmao

RIDDLER: Vitarizza, I find her the hottest

[Ops, Sorry my dear SoniZz, Welcome to the desert, of the real! :D]

P.S. RIDDL3R DID mention another name, which I wont publish.. and he wont tell! 😉

Describe me in one word?

SoniZz: Reliable

RIDDLER: Smart fuck

Describe Dionysus in one word?

SoniZz: A mystery, lol

RIDDLER: Good lay

If you are asked to suggest a nick name for IRC, what will it be?

SoniZz: GarlicBread

RIDDLER: TrumpAndPutinLoveChild2018 / Using IRC is like pissing in an ocean of piss!

Did you ever dress up like a school girl and got your ass spanked?

SoniZz: NO… (But) Im sure RIDDL3R’s answer was…”I wish”

RIDDLER: Yes

Tell one of your darkest fantasies?

SoniZz: Choking RIDDL3R till he can’t breathe while tying him to a chair lmao … The satisfaction aahh.. Lmao!

RIDDLER: Sometimes I which I could print out the source code of Half Life’s game engine, lube myself up and roll around in the printed code

BDSM? 😮 Whoa! Truly a match made in heavens! hah

[RIDDL3R mentioned another fantasy, which has been censored, hah]

At what age did you had your first crush? What did you like in him/her?

SoniZz: I guess i was 11… It was a boy in my class … He was always nice to me …Paid attention to me ^_^

RIDDLER: I was in grade 8, there was this chick on my school bus who I had the hots for. The wench had almond eyes…ALMOND EYES! Makes my taint tingle just thinking about it.

Most embarrassing moments in RL?

SoniZz: When i was in school … I had my periods … Bled on the Chair… Luckily no one noticed lool..I managed to wipe it off before anyone noticed

RIDDL3R: Most embarrassing moment, coming out of the shower while my friends were in my room. The towel wrapped around my waist fell down. Fucking embarrassing. My face still gets red when I think about it

What do you notice in a guy/girl at first sight?

SoniZz: Their hair Lol; Yes definitely hair

RIDDL3R:Are you asking me for guys as well kek? Girl: eyes if I can see her face, arms if I cant / Guys: facial hair

Bonus: Dedicate some words for any one of our mutual friends

SoniZz: RIDDL3R Yuck Fou / Diamond the sugar to my coffee / Rapt meri chutki

RIDDL3R: I hate you so much, SoniZz

“RIDDLER Yuck Fu?” / “I hate you so much, SoniZz”

The readers must now understand what did i mean by the ‘Reserve Psychology’ in the start of this article! SEE THE SIGNS ;]

Bonus: Say a few words for Dauntless!

SoniZz: Good: I like that you can handle being kicked from one of our mutual channels without crying like the school girl that you are Bad: Its a pity that you’re an arse-nal supporter… If you weren’t you would be pretty awesome!

RIDDL3R: Eat a dick!

Disclaimer: I request the readers not to lose their shit on theatricality of this article. This is just a leisure activity and I have dramatized things just to make it fun, take it as such!

NEXT INTERVIEW: persephone`

This one you don’t bloody want to miss, hah!
stay tuned!

[Dauntless]