This article was overdue… LONG overdue… It should’ve been out weeks ago! But due to an unfortunate incident irl with Muskan’s brother, she could not come to IRC and it was appropriate for the article to be published once she is back and all is well again.
The delay came like a blessing in disguise because writing this article has been extremely challenging. The biggest predicament has been: where do I start? Mainly because the testimonials which I got for Muskan, covered a lot of what I wanted to write. If the readers skip the essay I am thinking to write here and jump right to the testimonials section, they’d figure that there is already so much written and I am really struggling to create original content. Nevertheless, I right now harbour an insatiable deep lying sentiment that absolutely nothing has been written just yet which could adequately explicate the celebutante that is Muskan on IRC. If I do justice with it, I’ll have to write a fucking book. So bear with my futile attempt to keep it short and read on…
Chapter 1: Carpe Diem
Let’s bypass all the character development and come straight to the point. I have a section of ‘Ratings’ in the end where I give the respondent nicks to rate from 1 to 10. If the Rating 10 had a name, it would have been ‘Muskan’, hands down. Had there been a walk-though or The Bible of IRC stating “How to handle predators”, Muskan would’ve been the prime protagonist of such literature. Suffice to say, Muskan is THE scale against which we can measure good or bad in God forsaken place like IRC. Haters will say I exaggerate but 99% of the populace of IRC, friend and foe alike, would concur with the aforementioned notion. So much so, that if someone says something bad about Muskan, I would appraise the allegation against my experience with Muskan and ascertain that the allegation would be wrong, but Muskan just cannot, such is my personal faith in her virtue. Yet the best part is, no one ever says anything bad about her (Debaucherous Jinsi mareez like Aly and LikeAChicken do not count, KEK) and that is the greatest testament of what I have just furnished here.
Even then, if you feel I may be overstating Muskan’s virtues, I invite you to do a social experiment: Fake a nick, go to #Lahore and try to flirt with Muskan. She won’t kick you, nor get moved… she’d just greet you, she’d talk to you, she’d be friendly.. but she would NEVER break character. She would NEVER get carried away. And despite being friendly, she will NEVER concede a reason for anyone to feel that anyone’s foolish trickery actually worked on her. Each word of hers will have a terrifying balance of wit and dignity. And THAT, is something which makes her absolutely SPECIAL… She is meticulous, exacting and best of all, RESTRAINTFUL! A leader of men and women alike, who has the ability to singlehandedly run a channel without entertaining any controversy. I wholeheartedly endorse the undisputed fact that without Muskan, #Lahore will simply crumble like a deck of cards. For two weeks of June when Muskan was away, Lahore looked like a desolate desert.
When a corporation or a business entity wants to enrich or expand a business or an institute, they elect a specialist to take the lead. Sundar Pichai did it for Google, Stephen Hawking did it for Cambridge when he redefined quantum physics as we know it. On IRC, there are a lot of good people who can carry chats and run channels, but if you crave for a channel to be the best, Muskan will be a pre-requisite. Hell, you can put her in Sahara and gardens will erupt right from the desert sands. So get in line niggers, and make your offers…!
Chapter 2: Acta Non Verba
Apart from her prowess as a good orator and social influencer, Muskan is excellent human being. She knows the meaning of gratitude, and of loyalty. She has an immensely strong character who knows how to keep a secret.
If I’ve told her something about someone, no one else would know… if the other person has told her something about me, I won’t know; regardless of how good a friend I am to her; regardless of how much she shares her personal life with me; regardless of how close we may be, she just WONT throw the other person under the bus… and THAT, is a trait of an extremely strong personality. Such moral fibre is becoming scarce in life; and is practically non-existent on IRC.
Those of you, who know her beyond IRC, would acknowledge that her perseverance even in real life is awe-inspiring. Her life has been a battle, one after the other; but unlike most of the body politic of IRC who harness sympathy and attention by playing victims, Muskan choses to be a titan! You see her chat day in, day out and you’d think this person is totally nonchalant without a worry in the world. But in her mind, there is always a storm brewing.. you dont see her weathering those storm because they never comes out, they never reflect on her demeanor which, again, is a testament of perseverance. Bhei mujhsay nahi hota aisa, maira phone ka bill zayada aa jay tou it’s as clear on my face as the days are long in summer. I simply don’t understand how Muskan maintains the sanctity of her spirit in wake of all the worldly troubles… Huge Respect!
Final Chapter: AERE PERENNIUS
Your selfless support for me on IRC has been surpassed only by your fierce friendship out of it.
A lot of charlatans on IRC tried to besmirch my reputation in your eyes and taint our friendship through their grubby mundane propaganda; but you kept your faith in my person. I can’t begin to tell you how much I honour your loyalty.
There is so much I want to write… so much that I COULD write… in fact, this final chapter is the one which matter the most, to me anyway; but I choose not to write it. Mostly because the fabric of our friendship does not require validation from IRC, nor does it depend on it.
Also, 2 4 logon ki BOHT zayada sarr jay ge if I became a little more expressive, lol. And despite craving to drive the thorns of envy deep into the rancid moral carcasses of these bastards (mostly from #lahore, KEK), I’d choose to ignore it. Because these people are irrelevant… none of them will ever be a variable in our equation, which remains gleefully well balanced.
In the end, I formally convey the gratitude I feel for our friendship. And to confess to you, that my sincerity towards you is permanent.. and UNSHAKABLE!
Flawsome: Muskan is chulbuli patakha n sweet…she enjoys every second of her life .. She is friends with everyone..she possessive thia quality where u catches your attention while she is chatting on the main. U can share jokes with her, Talk abt stupid stuff .. She enjoys this with u… To sum up her personality…chulbali patakha is the correct explanation
mysterious-wits: She is a girl with positive attitude I always find her welcoming whenever I join lahore. Infact she made me a regular user of lahore….it’s always nice to chat with muskan though I don’t know much about her as we just met few days back but so far I find her friendly and polite…it’s nice to read her interview, I thoroughly enjoyed reading her irc experiences 🙂 best wishes for her!!! Xoxo muskan
Revenge“: Muskan_ is always cheerful and chatty, the personality trait that makes people feel comfortable around her. Sometimes I wonder ‘itnee batayn kaysay kar laytee hayn’
Marlboroman: Muskan was one of my first friends that I made on irc during my current stint. She is a beautiful person who enjoys every moment of her life and shares with everyone, thus bringing happiness to their lives also. She has a great virtue of forgiving people and then not just forgetting but also moving on. Never has it ever happened that I turned my head and I couldn’t find her beside me. She is a true friend of mine and her friendship is indescribable with words. Stay happy!
Shae: Muski is the embodiment of her nick: spreads smiles and happiness everywhere. It’s pretty evident that channel ki mains light up whenever she’s around. She’s the sweetest girl and will stand by her friends always. I’m happy I got to know her. She’s an asset to have in any channel and it’s evident from the response one gets as soon as she logs in on irc. Love you muski!
funny: Dauntless words nain jo keh sakown Muskan_ kay liay. bhut achi hain wo, kamal. She’s good and very kind of aLL us. and my good frd too
Aay: Muskan_ is everything her nick suggests. She is friendly, polite and so cheerful that just talking to her makes you feel better about the day. Above all, I can tell she’s strong from what I know about her life. I really wish her all the best in life and hope that she always stays the way she is.
Rameez: Her Name describes her the best > Muskan means Smiles < Muskan is able to get along with everyone that she comes across because of her unique and engaging personality she is very friendly and cheerful person.
Anaarkali: Muskan is a bubbly, friendly and witty person. She’s helped me establish my successful online business and her marketing skills and eye for talent has served me well as I broaden my clientele, lol thanks Muskan baby, your package is on its way… 😛
Salaar: A girl who can be the light to the darkness around you, who can bring a smile when you are done with your life, who can cheer you up when you ve lost all your chances..! if it wasnt for muskan_ i’d ve quit irc by now! Thanks for being in my life love….! hugs n kisses!!
JohnnyBravo: I dont know much abt her, but the much I know her she is a sweet, humble and a fine artist, I wish her all the best in her life
Fitoor: She is an Amazing person to share your stuff with, u can trust her with your secrets. She is just Muskan de great.
Aint`No`Sunshine: Muskaan.. hmm what to say about this person? She’s a one person army.. Singlehandedly the best OP in Lahore and the reason for Lahore being so busy. I haven’t interacted with Muskaan as much as I would’ve liked — as you know I am busy *ad/paid content alert* busy in the best channel on IRC 😛 (/whois Aint_no_Sunshine subho shaam until I am online and join the channel I am OP in, there is only one channel :PpPpP~) — but from what little I have, I have pieced together this image of a very honourable bandee who is part of a very rare dying breed in real world, let alone IRC — She likes to do things the hard way or shall we say the right way, where so many don’t bother aaj kal!! — Chats in full presence of her family members and even involves them (give my salam & love to Aunty jee Muskaan, please) — is always very polite and responsive on a very busy main — Is very mindful of doing things correctly and by the books — knows how to keep her friendships (Godiva, Shae & Muskaan — the terrible three :P) despite how busy she is on IRC and even likes to keep up the neighbourly friendship with other channels in aaj kal k dour mein where people are only bothered about making their own channels best by hook or crook and have no honor (read RACER with CAPS)– She is the most precious asset for Lahore on IRC and they better take very good care of her as *ad alert again* the best channel on IRC will be proud to make her part of their team any day!!! All the best Muski! Anyone bothering you…? give me a shout!!! :))
Da_Mask: Although we did not chat a lot, I think Muskan_, as Nick suggests, is a Mesmerizing feeling. She is a one-man army who holds the #lahore fort strong and the flag high. She does not use bows & arrows for that. In fact she does the job well done with her smiles and friendliness which means a lot for everyone around. She carries a shield of happiness & smiles around her which is so hard to penetrate for the negative ones. She is a mature, sweet, kind, welcoming, graceful, polite & an elegant gem. She is feeling to be cherished, I wish her all the happiness & success in her life and hereafter. Stay Blessed Muskan_
Tiger^: She’s kind hearted and an adorable person. A great friend one could find. She’s concerned about her friends and takes interest in their happiness n sorrows. If I had such a person as a real life friend, I’ll feel blessed
Question: Tell me something about yourself. Ideally, something which is not common knowledge.
Answer: Hmmm.. irc pe sab k liye main kafi talkative insan hun. Par haqeeqat mein, main kafi khamosh & tanhae pasand insan hun. I am not antisocial person.. Selectively social.
Question: What made you joined IRC? And why do you use it?
Answer: Hmmm.. kisi problem se apna mind divert karne k liye maine irc join kiya tha, and koi Mohabbat mein dhokay wala issue nahi.. LoL.. and acha time pass ho jata hai yahan with friends.
Question: If you had to change your nick, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that nick?
Answer: Hmm khooshi hota new nick.. kiyun k mere naam ka matlab hai khooshi 🙃
Question: Do you prefer being anonymous on IRC? If Yes, Why?
Answer: No.. auron ka pata nahi, par main anonymous tou nahi rehna chahti, atleast aap apnay baray mein jitna batana chahtat hun, woh sach bataein, yahan almost har insan kuch aur pretend karne ki kohish karta hai khud ko, jis ki waja se un ki apni personality kahin gum ho jati hai.
Question: Have you ever met anyone from IRC? If yes, who?
Answer: No.. kabhi kisi se nahi mili from IRC
Question: Then why it is commonly believed that you met Salaar?
Answer: Hmmm.. Main kuch time pehlay lahore thi, and maine apni niece k sath aik icecream pic share kiya tha, Jis khudi see logon ne assume karliya k main salaar k sath icecream kha k aai hun. And gossips.. Logon k pait dard khatam karne k liye maine SaLaar ne kaha, yes hum milay hain.. simple.
Question: Is there any channel on IRC you want completely destroyed? If yes, why?
Answer: Hmmmmm yeah.. pata nahi hassan channel ab bhi hai k nahi, hassan channel.
Question: Who on IRC do you like/dislike the most? One nick for each.
Answer: Marlboroman.. and dislike mein Dilruba
Question: Who is the person whom you wish you had met in RL, not through IRC?
Answer: Hmmm meri life ki journey mein jo jahan mila hai mujhay, woh mujhay wahin acha lagta hai, tou main nahi chahti irc wala koi mujhay real life mein milta, shayad phir woh maza na hota.
Question: Who is the person you think about when you are not on IRC?
Answer: Main jab jahan hoti hun, meri sari attention wahin hoti hai. Jab irc pe hun, tou yahin Gum hoti hun. Irc dc karne k bad kisi k baray mein nahi soochti. Kiyun k marlboroman, Salaar & shae mere sab se achay dost hain, en se meri waise bhi baat cheet rehti he hai. Irc pe main na bhi rahi tou, yeh teeno mere dost rahein gay hamesha.
Question: What’s your worst memory from IRC?
Answer: Ghalat insan pe trust karna.. & main apni ghaltiyon se seikh kar, un ko bhool jati hun. Friend peet pe waar karay, es se worse i think kuch nahi.
Question: What is the hottest (Most Catchy) nick you find on IRC? What is the least attractive nick?
Answer: Hottest tou nahi kahun gi, par Freak ka nick mujhay hamesha se bara attract karta hai. I dont know why… Least attractive i666
Question: What was the weirdest conversation you have overheard on IRC?
Answer: I hate jab double meaning chat ho kahin bhi, ya kisi ki personal information share ki jai, pics.. Specially pm logs..
Question: After 10 years, when/if you are gone from IRC, what you will be most nostalgic about?
Answer: Hmmm.. frnds k sath guzara acha time specially with shae naina pori rath ganay gana.. hum subha 6-7 bajay tak main par ganay leikhtay thay.. users ko tang karna. Hasi mazak.
Question: What is the most interesting activity imaginable on IRC?
Answer: Logon ko tang karna, khas kar jo aap ko pasand nahi kartay oun ko 😂😂😂 me naughty kid hun real mein tou.
Question: What was the most uncomfortable thing you’ve had to do out of politeness on IRC?
Answer: Mera dil na razi ho tou main kuch nahi karti 🙃 jaise meri adat hai sab se chaat karne ki, new nicks tag karne ki, tou kahin dafa huwa hai, maine nick tag kiya, and woh flooder nikal aya 😂😂😂😂 Aisa kuch karna he kiyun jis mein main comfortable nahi
Question: If you go back in past, which one thing you would like to change in your IRC history?
Answer: Ghalat dost banaye.. agar koi time machine ban gayi tou apni yeh ghalti theek karlon gi.
Question: Name one of your enemies on IRC which you would rather wish to be friends with?
Answer: Dushman ki apni jagan hai, es liye woh wahin achay, dost ban guy tou main jealous kise karun gi 🤭
Question: Name your IRC crush, if any?
Answer: Crush wala scene nahi. Crush k chakar mein mera dil waqae agaya tou. Phir tou dil he crush hojai ga na mera. Ab 30s mein bhi bf, crush k chakar mein he rehna hai tou viyaa kab hoga
Question: Describe me in one word?
Answer: Devil 😈
Question: If you are asked to suggest a nick name for IRC, what will it be?
Answer: Shehaid ki makhi k chattay ko kiya kehtay hain?? Me bhool gae.. (A beehive)
Question: Did you ever dress up like a school girl and got your ass spanked?
Answer: Yeh mehman nawazi tou pakistan ki har larki ki hoti hai, mard hazraat se
Question: Tell one of your darkest fantasies?
Answer: Darkest tou nahiiii koi, yeah main khiyali pulao bohat banati hun. Meri fantasies.. jis mein se aik turkish hero se shadi ki hai 🤭🤭 One more Mere ex bf k best frnd se shadi..Aur us k bad Mera ex jal jal k mar jai ga… Ex bachon k pampers badal raha hoga, wahan me honnnyyymoon pe hahahhahaha
Question: At what age did you had your first crush? What did you like in him/her?
Answer: Pehla crush.. mera college co education tha, tou sab teachers male.. bus science and hamare commerce department k computer sir young thay, and science department walay tou mera crush thay.. 😍😍😍 Itnay handsome And u know what.. Main kafi full of expressions hun. … Tou woh kehtay thay mera chera mere hath mere lafzon k pechay bhagtay hain 😍😍😍
Question: Most embarrassing moments in RL?
Answer: Main meditation ki classes Lene, civil aviation club jati thi, wahan main aik dafa Washroom mein lock hogayi, and un logon k pass keys he nahi thi, wahan k snooker club k larke bahar jama hoguy, jee larki washroom mein lock ho gayi… And mazay ka scene, mujhay dewar jump kar k ana para.. Jab mein dewar pe chare.. and nechay deikha, itni awam. For welcome…Imagine meri behen ne mujhay pechannay se inkaar kardia 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Dewar ouchi, main jump karne ki koshish karun, woh bhi na ho. Tou mai cheekhi mujhay opar se chair doChair di. Main door lock pe paon rakh k dewar pe charee And aik larka kehta hai main help karun Maine kaha sab dafa hojain… Maine kaha chair rakho, me khud outray gi, Lloool
Question: What do you notice in a guy/girl at first sight?
Answer: Over all personality he deikhti hun. Good looks nahi sirf.. boil eggs nahi pasand me ko… Sirf aik cheez attract nahi karti. Complete package ho.. Jaise mujhay clean shave and bohat goray log nahi pasand. (Question: jaisay ********* hai?) Han… Use lagta hai boil egg hona and gora hona beauty hai
Question: Say a few words for Dauntless, Good & Bad!
Answer: I think you bohat outspoken ho.. yeh achi baat bhi hai and buri bhi
Question: Who is your role model?
Answer: My Mom.. kiyun k woh sabar wali hain. Bohaaat ziada sabar wali.
Question: Which person In the world knows you the best?
Answer: My amma
Question: What would your friends say about you?
Answer: Hmmm.. amma ki khidmat ki waja se, sab frnds call me Jannati.. 🙃 baki mere frnds kehtay hain, main kisi ka bhi dil jeet sakti hun 😐
Question: What is the question people ask you most often?
Answer: Aaj kal tou aik he sawal, shadi kab karo gi, 30 ki hogayi ho. Aur mera jawab hota hai, pocket mein larke le kar ghoom rahi thi, pocket kaat gayi
Question: Which one of the following, you’d never say to another person? A. Comment on their looks, B. Comment on Their Personal Lives, C. Comment on their careers, D. Shout at them!
Answer: A & B both
Question: What is your greatest achievement?
Answer: Maine evening mein masters kiya tha.. and almost 95% evening mein job walay boys hotay hain. Aise mein maine department mein position li thi.. mere liye yeh bohat bari achievement thi.. Jab main amma k hath pakar k un ko chalati hun. And woh halki halki awaz mein sath sath mujhay duaein di ja rahi hoti hain. 😍😍😍😍 Aisa lagta hai amma ne jaise Bachpan mein finger pakar k mujhay chalaya, ab main un ko.
Question: What is your greatest failure?
Answer: Maine CA mein admission liye tha.. and mera aik paper ruki ja raha tha, maine jaldi giveup kardiya..
Question: What did you learn from your greatest failure?
Answer: Yeh he k kabhi giveup nai karna chaiye, khud ko afsos karne ka moka nahi dena chaiye. Koshish k bad waisa na ho tou itna feel nahi hota.
Question: What is the thing you’re most proud of?
Answer: Hmm jab maine pehli dafa old age home mein mothers day celebrate kiya tha, tou parents k chere ki khooshi deikha kar dil garden garden hogaya tha. Aik mother ne kaha she wants my naak ka kokaaa. Aur shayad proud movements ka tou sahi se no idea.. bus main khoosh hoti hun cheezon ko kar k. Aur meri khooshi ki definition auron se alag hai
Question: What would you like to change about yourself?
Answer: Hmm main frnd n family k elawa kisi se baat nahi karti. Sometimes i hate k main bilkul gungi hojati hun. Main chahti hun apni yeh adat badlon
Question: If something in your house breaks, what is the first thing you do?
Answer: Depend karta hai toota kiya. Waise saray mamlaat main deikhti hun khud.. main fix kar saki tou good. Werna professional
Question: What is the greatest obstacle you’re facing right now?
Answer: Hmmm.. meri apni zaat se related tou kuch nahi hai. Baki life k problems tou chaltay rehtay hain. What i want k main kabhi na umeed na hun, aur kabhi himmat na harun.. baki sab khair hai.
Question: What do you do in your free time?
Answer: Waise main free time mein, drawings banati hun, paintings, clay se cheezein.. calligraphy.. aur aik saal se yeh irx 😂😂😂 and most important Reading
Question: What is the ritual that helps you calm down?
Answer: (Muskan_ didn’t want the answer to be revealed, but OH MY WORD! 😉
Question: What is the weirdest thing you’ve done while being home alone?
Answer: Ouchi awaz mein ganay lagay kar.. dance.. 😂
Question: What is the weirdest thing you have done in shower?
Answer: Pani k sath chapar chapar karti hun.
Question: What is the weirdest thing you’ve done on a date?
Answer: Its private, mein woh kyun share keru baki awam k sath.
Question: If you have to choose between getting caught on a date and getting expelled from the university in final semester, which would you prefer?
Answer: First one
Question: Have you ever been in love?
Question: If you had to choose between being the most brilliant and famous woman in the world but staying single forever, and being the most ordinary woman whom no one would care to remember but having the most satiating romantic life, which one would you prefer?
Question: Choose the following nicks in descending order from Most Favorite to least: Freak, Racer, Marlboroman, Salaar, LikeICare, Aint`no`Sunshine, zaviyar, true-friend?
Answer: Marlboroman, Salaar, Freak, Racer, Aint`no`sunshine, Zaviyar, nt-spki, truefrnd, LikeIcare.
Question: Choose the following nicks in ascending order (LEAST Favorite to MOST favorite): Muskan_, _Nyctophilliac, hbq, Shae, WebUser, miico?
Answer: Blackcat, anahita, miico, neeni, WebUser, nycot0philiac, Aay, Shae
Question: Has anyone “approached” you on IRC in any inappropriate way? If yes, who?
Answer: Yes, but Nick mention karna zarori nahi.. (BUT SHE MENTIONED TO ME, SO I KNOW WHAT KIND OF JINZI MAREEZ YOU ARE, FAGGOT)
Last Question: You are the final respondent of Season 2 of Interviews, what is your feedback on this activity? And which was your favorite interview of this season?
Answer: Personally mujha bohat acha lagta hai sawalon k jawab dena. Tou i love this type of activities.. and irc pe en interviews k through aap ko aur achay se users ko jannay ka moka milta hai. And you did a Great Job.. Sab k he interviews bohat achay thay.. Specially Aay & Flawsome..
|JohnnyBravo||7.5||Moochein hun tou JohnnyBravo jaisi.. he is nice chater..|
|Laadla||8||LaAdLa the laddoo.. LaAdLa ka sense of humour bohat acha hai.. hazir jawab.. naughty.. 🥊🥊 for You LaAdLa.. LoL|
|Dionysus||N/A||Mein janti nahi itna inko|
|Shae||10||shae ki sab se best baat hai woh backbiting nahi karti.. very humble.. and caring too..|
|Hassan||6||5 dainay thay but chalo 6 day do baycharay ko|
|Cupid||8.5||Cupid is very fun loving person.. neutral..|
|Anaarkali||7.5||anaarkali disco chalii.. nice girl.. humein turkish heros k khuwab deikhanay wali.|
|funny||8||nice and sensible person..|
|Da_Mask||8||kafi friendly hai.. jolly.. easy going person.|
|Miico||7.5||Full of drama|
|aint`no`sunshine||9||9.. irx pe kafi users hain.. achay bhi.. par decent users ki kami hai .. jo quality chat kartay hun… ain’t un mein se aik hain..bohat decent… Energetic.. calm.. i really like the way he chat..|
|LikeICare||ZERO||write it in caps|
|Aay||9||nice girl.. she cares about others and like to help them.. achay se sab users ko handle karti hai..|
|Marlboroman||10||He is one of my best friends.. Nice, Polite & decent.. he never judge me… its nice to know he has always got my back.|
|Sharp||8.5||Jitni bat hoi, achi lagi|
|Mahir||6||na hi poocho… but 6! 😀|
|Estella||8||I dont know Stella much par she is a very caring person|
|nt-spki||9||he is very helpful & supportive.. thank u for always being there whenever i need a help..|