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The Duchess

Posted on 21st February 201923rd February 2019

To much of my delight, people have come to me and told me that they enjoy reading these ‘introductions’ very much. Some have even gone to the extend to say that they look forward to introductions more than the interviews themselves. As much a personal triumph as it feels to me, the truth is that an endeavor which started off as a ‘byproduct’ of these interviews, has become a burden for me. I write intros based on my personal experiences with the interviewees; but what to do if I don’t share an eventful past with them? What to “unearth” which readers may find exotic? I am no philosopher… nor a poet.. I cant invent entrancing glamour! The crippling burden of expectations to keep the readers regaled have left me vexed; a task becoming even harder if you are not Beparwah, or Dionysus.. talking about whom I can fill HOURS with.

I do not have as many experiences with Nadia as I would’ve liked to have and therefore, I have fruitlessly been spending quite some time, endeavoring to find most creative of ways to address the predicament of writing an enthralling intro for her.

Until last night, when it suddenly dawned upon me that sometimes, less is more and you don’t have to rely on history if you have instinctual observation. Besides, my time with Nadia may not not span across centuries, as we got acquainted only a few months ago; but I have been observing her ‘modus operandi’ for a while and it already feels like a entire lifetime since I know her; that’s the best part!

As with 90% of the women on IRC, I got off to a wrong footing with Nadia as well but she quickly invoked respect in my heart; mainly because of her maturity, and impartiality. Nadia’s personal life is perennially lurked between seasons of forlorn and fortune; which I wouldn’t want to divulge in; but I respect her immensely for her valiance; for having the courage to ALWAYS brandishing a smile, even in wake of despair.

Nadia bring her RL leadership and vision on IRC as well. The idea of ensemble ‘crew’, designed as a feminist movement to safeguard women on IRC, was Nadia’s very own brain-child. This cult, operating from the dark contours of IRC and recognizable as ‘Duchesses‘, is supposedly bound by sacred sacramentum of self-preservation of women. The mystery surrounding the existence of Duchesses, which has often perplexed many of us, is finally unveiled in this interview.

On a personal account, I have found Nadia to be a great friend who makes herself available whenever she is needed. She brings a lot of experience and maturity on the table. Being an elder, she is an adequate mixture of dominion and tolerance and I trust her because of her impartiality. I do, however, feel at times that she tries to impose her opinion but that’s vigilance, not condescension. Nevertheless, I cannot be patronized by her rare authoritativeness, so I don’t mind it per se; I rather find it to be part of her charm, lol.

Oh boy! I AM being a try-hard, am i not? Lol! I had convinced myself that I can afford to be lackluster and drab in this intro; because with Nadia, even if the lack of inventiveness of this intro disappoints you, the interview itself never will πŸ˜‰ Personally, I think its one of the most unique interviews I have conducted thus far and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Although most of the enjoyable parts have been censored upon Nadia’s request but you’ll get the picture nevertheless.

So without any further ado, my dear bibliophiles, I invite you to feast your eyes upon an account of this leading soprano; from the mystic cult of “Duchesses”!

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TESTIMONIALS

  • Cupid: She is polite, at the same time she is rude. And I saw her new face last days, She will know what I mean πŸ˜›
  • Exquisite: Sophisticated lady
  • Meow_: Bari behan jesi hain.. daant bhe leti hain … pyar bhe krti hain. mai khud bhe naraz ho jati hun … phir normal bhe ho jatay… hmari aik behan ziller dosti krwa deti hai hmari
  • Kitab: Nadia^ bohat Strong lady hain,yaaron ki yaar hain..meri jitni dafa conversation hoi hain un say kabhi negative nahi paya un ko..Nadia ji aisay hi hansti muskurati Rahain hamesha
  • Beparwah: I have always found her so friendly yet with an attitude that everyone feels neither offended nor gets the liberty of being out of limit, wish her all the best in her life!
  • SoniZz: I dont know her that well, but from what I’ve noticed, i that she’s a very nice and a mature lady whom I could totally be friends with. I’ve never seen her be rude to anyone.
  • Smurfette: She is sweet

INTERVIEW

First and foremost; please bring the entire IRC out of a societal nescience; and humor us with but ONE question: What is all this “Duchess” malarkey?!
Duchesses .. a group of females .. who has a place to talk and have each other’s back πŸ™‚ we don’t pass rumors or gossips.. Just talk about our own issues with solutions. Its a ‘female only’ group. and We are very selective!

Is it an IRC Feminist Mafia Movement or something?
*smile* No… but we do stick together πŸ™‚

Ah, so you guys are like the Amazons? Aimed at killing all the men and save one for reproduction? πŸ˜€
haha.. You’re crazy!
I see too many predators here .. and saw a need to have a place for females only.. Now, we do have a predator list.

A “predator list”? Whoa!

I got the list, if anyone wants to check if his name is in there, pm me! HAH

So who ARE these esteemed Douchesses?….Sorry, “Duchesses”! πŸ˜€
LongNails, Meow, Kitab, Rapt, Anaarkali, Aliza, Nimra_Tigress , Sonizz, …. Diamond.. chox.. Maheen.. Pukhtana..

Now we have kicked few out of conduct unbecoming a “duchess”

Ah, the usual suspects! πŸ˜€

Who have you kicked out from Duchesses?
Impala(Lifeislife) , Dilruba.
Sasha_Khan (also) is no longer part of duchesses.

I am sure they must be GUTTED! kek!

Last Question on your exalted royalty league: Who is the Godmother of this crime family of yours?
I think its me; heheh.
And no we are not criminals.. We just hangout together πŸ™‚

You’ve got RATS in your ranks, bro! Ghar ka bhaydi, Lanka dhai!

Just a caution ;)

Ahan cool! Now lets start with the usuals.
Tell me something about yourself. Ideally, something which is not common knowledge.
Hmm I was an athlete. Not only in Pakistan but here in US too… played Table Tennis jissay yahaan (Ping pong) boltay hein.. on intermurals level (college).. And my home is the center of my universe; kids, pets and job πŸ™‚

What inspired your nick?
Its my Name πŸ™‚ *eham* … I don’t believe in nicks … have tried only two over the years and doesn’t seems to fit me πŸ™‚ always seems someone else is talking

What made you joined IRC? And why do you use it?
Well I am ancient on IRC (EfNet) / Dalnet wasn’t even born at that time. But I joined because I was stuck with my program and someone said .. try this .. there are programmers from all over the western world .. see if someone can help you. I got help .. finished the project .. but then someone told me Pakistan channel and was hooked line and sinker after that.

If you had to change your nick, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that nick?
Sanity / because from time to time we all can use some of it πŸ™‚

Do you prefer being anonymous on IRC? If Yes, Why?
No, I don’t think I like that (being anonymous) … (its) not me .. could be that i am still stuck in the past where you never lied or hid yourself. Back in the day, you couldn’t hide yourself even if you wanted too … so mujhay khabh aadat hi nah pari to hide myself.

Have you ever met anyone from IRC? If yes, who?
I am still friends with the irc users from way back when.. Our kids play together now… abhi, I haven’t met any one, but have talked to couple (of people) on skype.. Meow, chox, to name the few

Is there any channel on IRC you want completely destroyed? If yes, why?
#Pakistan / the SOP’s there are douche-bags

Are you reading this Giggles? hah!

Who on IRC do you like/dislike the most? One nick for each.
Like: Meow_ / Dislike: Mr President

She wanted to mention more than one nick for like; but I made her choose only one; dont start getting worked up all you little “duchesses” πŸ˜€

Who is the person whom you wish you had met in RL, not through IRC?
hmm. Rebellious

Who is the person you think about when you are not on IRC?
yikes! None! when i am out of irc I don’t think about irc! time nahi hota ji. I have kids, 2 cats and a dog πŸ™‚

What’s your worst memory from IRC?
Stupid fight with Mr_president and his chamchi layla. about how she picks on users like she can dish it out but can’t take it

What is the hottest (Most Catchy) nick you find on IRC? What is the least attractive nick?
Hottest: Dauntless! Fearless, right? / least attractive is Mr_President (like how can a person so full of himself)

Khaali paahnday boutay kharakday nay! πŸ˜€

What was the weirdest conversation you have overheard on IRC?
the weirdest conversation was threesome-sexting between 3 persons on main … who were doing it on #Pakistan main / if you can go on Pakistan the ‘show’ starts around 11 pm US time… or even later

Name withheld upon respondent’s request after a long argument but I know them obviously! God I’ve started to love this job!! πŸ˜€

After 10 years, when/if you are gone from IRC, what you will be most nostalgic about?
The pretend scenes, the roles people play .. like open flirting , open phaday , tease of PakiMan by Aly!

The only way one can tease Pakiman is by sexting with him while
pretending to be a woman; no wonder Aly is good at it! πŸ˜€

What is the most interesting activity imaginable on IRC?
Have a good chat .. the one you can laugh at … I don’t care you are pulling someones leg .. as long as it is in Had-e-adab .. (I mean) if you not here to ‘chat’ .. what the hell you are here for? But most interesting is the act of certain ladies who pretend to be nanhi kaki’s (which they are not) … I am painting a target on my back (by mentioning a nick but) MissAnnonymous (is an example)… the hell I care πŸ™‚

What was the most uncomfortable thing you’ve had to do out of politeness on IRC?
Pretend not to read when people are vulgar with each other .. I just leave the channel when that happens .. purani examples hein but no way I am saying those! I take the fifth (amendment)!

Invoking the Fifth Amendment in the United States Constitution, which in layman’s terms means that no person “shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself“

In simpler words, Nadia is refusing to answer the question as it may jeopardize her. But I, as usual, can be EXTREMELY persuasive! :D

The interview is being conducted in Pakistan; there is no 5th amendment in our constitution! The court compels you to answer the question, Duchess!
I will take my friends name.. because they can take it.. not all those “ullo kay phattay” and I know they know who I am talking about.. No need to become part of this πŸ™‚
These interviews are suppose to be fun .. let keep them light πŸ™‚

These Interviews are what “I” say they are!
Tell me who did you find getting vulgar with each other???
L**a & some guy; they have changed nicks tou I dont know who they are..

Lately L********e and R********8 ki bakwass!

There! I said it! ya tumnay print keeya tu mera tumhara issue ho jana. you promised to hold nick

Trust me! *Grin*

If you go back in past, which one thing you would like to change in your IRC history?
I will never join

Name one of your enemies on IRC which you would rather wish to be friends with?
No i like my enemies to stay where they are .. they have earned that spot! (People like) Sasha_Khan, Lyla, Mr_President etc

Name your IRC crush, if any?
Yaar I am out of that range, you have to understand that point

Is this apathy or just a surrender? πŸ˜‰

Describe me in one word?
Annoying

Describe Dionysus in one word?
I have talked with him 3 lines; hi, how are you, and whats up? So no clue so far!

Describe Beparwah in one word?
Careless!

Ok, thanks Captain Obvious! :S

Did you ever dress up like a school girl and got your ass spanked?
NO NO BUT HELL NO

Tell one of your darkest fantasies? [REDO]
I wanna visit Pakistan and in each major cities want to have an irc gathering … wanna meet the people I talked with ..friends only πŸ™‚

I said Dark Fantasy! Apki social aspirations nahi poocheen.
Trust me it is dark enough πŸ™‚ .. You never knew who everyone turns out to be in real life. We did that once 23 years ago .. my IRC chat was cut in half after that. The looks in their eyes.. Most of them leechar niklay .

At what age did you had your first crush? What did you like in him/her?
I was the crush .. never had a crush πŸ™‚ wanna see me when I was the crush? you will understand πŸ™‚ / So No! baqool meri behan kay appa apnay makhay khudh urai.

Most embarrassing moments in RL?
Nano caught my lie .. never lied to her before πŸ™‚ went to a friend bd party .. she never liked that friend told her I was at hockey practice

What do you notice in a guy/girl at first sight?
Eyes… They don’t pretend you can’t hide emotions from your eyes!

Bonus: Dedicate some words for any one of our mutual friends
Meow , chox , Long^Nails , thanks for accepting me as who I am πŸ™‚

Bonus: Say a few words for Dauntless, Good & Bad!
Understanding (but) over sensitive.. Fun to talk with! A nice sparing partner πŸ™‚


Ok! Rating time! πŸ˜€

From a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 being the most abhorrent fiend and 10 being the divine reincarnation, rate the following nicks based on your opinion of them

NICKS RATING COMMENTS
Exquisite 5Dont know her much
Ishkaa6A Duchess πŸ™‚

Meow_8Meri apni British BroadCasting Company  (BBC)  Love you hon πŸ™‚  at one point in my life  I was called CNN πŸ™‚
LongNails8Sincere Friend — jaan cheez
Azam6.5Akhbar-e-jahan (in a good way)
Nimra_Tigress6Totally different lady out of irc πŸ™‚ 
Chox6Loving Lady 
Vehshee7BIASED
Iam2Gud9BIASED
Beperwah6Very promising  friend
Ziller7Unexpected  caring thoughtfull guy  (wait….  yes I am saying this for THE Ziller)
FunnyBone5Class clown πŸ™‚  the one sits on the last bench and mouth teachers every word 
Giggles6Always a pleasure to talk with
Maheen5Quite Lady with a steel backbone πŸ™‚ 
la’pple5Loving Gujjar –  she grows on you πŸ™‚  like an eclectic  taste πŸ™‚ 
Aly6.5Always a  good friend — hidden Ladies Man
nt-spki6Good teacher ….. silent one
CBI7Ladies beware — a very smooth talker 
I^Hate^Love6.5Ladies stay the heck away from him (poision in disguise)  good heart …… bad manners
Hax0r6Likes to stay in the shadows.  A good friend
MangoLover6.5Safe Harbour  … a gem of a guy 
speedy_gonzalas6One of the few people who you meet by chance  and are always glad when you ran into them again
Rebellious8One of the best human being I have met on this Fake world of IRC 
Shrek7.5Hub-ul-watan  on a wakhray scale .
Rapt6My Quite Duchess
Nazia5Funny in her own way ( just haven’t had many talks with her I hope she gets well soon)
Dionysus2Hmm   hard to describe if stories are true  he deserves a 2 πŸ™‚ (nothing personal ) this is all I know of him….  Stories
Ehmath4Nice person to talk to, depending on the time of the day and week of the day .
err4Probably a nice person  zaida baat nahi howi  ..jitni howi acchi howi
Kitab6You need to flip a coin to see how much more  friendly she will be today πŸ™‚  (She is always friendly)
Unpr3DicTabl36.5Most stable friend so far πŸ™‚ 
Impala1Kabhi acchi thi 
Laadla’Da’Sad’Flute7An Absolute Gem 
Bazzigar6.5The only person on irc I call Parawa (bhai)  
Steve^Austin4Also depends on the day you talk to him ,  I can’t say always treated me respectfully  but  lately he has been nice and respecful so he is in this list.
Freak5A wanna be player πŸ™‚  pakra jata hay her dafa πŸ™‚ 
BOMB^FUNK^MC4SPY

Next and FINAL Interview: Meow_ & Ziller!

STAY TUNED!

14 thoughts on “The Duchess”

  1. Nadia^ says:
    21st February 2019 at 6:05 pm

    well I know about the leaks and leakers …. they leak what I want them to leak πŸ™‚ nothing more nothing less πŸ™‚

    Reply
  2. UnPr3DicTaBL3 says:
    21st February 2019 at 6:49 pm

    Nadia^ is my ideal person:) very mature and sensible personality πŸ™‚ my prays are with u my dosht….:) keep smiling?☺☺???

    Reply
    1. BaZiGeR says:
      21st February 2019 at 11:18 pm

      Muaaf kar day Aslam !!!!

      Reply
  3. Nazia says:
    21st February 2019 at 7:27 pm

    Nadia khush raheen, abaad raheen.
    100 marks Daunty for the introduction part as always πŸ™‚

    Reply
  4. Azam says:
    21st February 2019 at 8:46 pm

    It is an honor to be considered in a good way by such a unique personality who is loved and cared carrying a caring personality. I appreciate it.

    Reply
  5. Steve^AustiN says:
    22nd February 2019 at 1:35 am

    Dear Nadia, you’re about to become a part of my Friend LIST. I would like to explain something.
    For the last 15 years, I am living on IRC with tradition, honor, and discipline.
    Nothing has changed since then.

    Which is why Steve^AustiN Nick has retained its pristine glory.

    But I found something Natural, Matured, Sweety and Kind Person in IRC that is YOU Nadia!
    Please keep this personality – and always be Happy !
    Cheers!

    Reply
    1. Dauntless says:
      22nd February 2019 at 3:35 pm

      Haha… yar ye wahid banda hai IRC ka jis ko koi MU nai lagata aur ye tarlaay ker k izzut kerwana chahta hai apni! LOL
      Tradition! Discipline!…”Pristine Glory”… ROFL… KAUN log nay yaar aay?? πŸ˜€

      Reply
      1. Cupid says:
        22nd February 2019 at 4:23 pm

        hahahahaha …. mujhe wo ek emo yaad aa raha hai “Annhi dyaa ai koi mazaak ai?”

        ROFL

        Reply
  6. coolshahrukh says:
    22nd February 2019 at 10:26 am

    I have no words to telling about her… in early I done less conversesion with her but now days daily.she is mature and good Lady,loving person and teacher also. cause she teaches me about MLC .. mid life crisis. Anyway I repsect her all the time.
    keep it up Phuppo

    Reply
  7. Nadia^ says:
    22nd February 2019 at 9:26 pm

    I have forgot to mention a very sweet duchess Anaarkali , love to chat with her and always consistent in nature πŸ™‚ no Drama at least not with me

    I have also forgot few important names in my Rating List .
    _Mac thanks for your music ..at first I thought it was annoying but it does provide us with an outlet from the annoying twits of irc members.

    Hash Innocent nice chatters.

    And lastly I wanna thank Dauntless for all his efforts . I am not an easy person to get information out from but you have to salute his perseverance and him being HIM πŸ™‚
    I did rated him which he took out he was an 8 and I am being biased here he being a bhateeja an all πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. Dauntless says:
      23rd February 2019 at 12:56 pm

      I offered you a deal!;)

      Let me mention all the named i censored and I will publish anything bad you say about me, ratings or comments, whatever! ?

      You passed!

      Reply
  8. Rebellious says:
    27th February 2019 at 4:33 pm

    Is there a way of describing Precious?
    “The most precious jewels are not made of stone, but of flesh”
    Tusi ik open book ho with lots of unfold mysteries πŸ˜‰
    Qasmay bara kuj likh dena may per mein nai chahnda tusi khushi naal moti ho jawo πŸ˜›

    Reply
  9. Nadia^ says:
    28th February 2019 at 1:43 am

    Bhateejay sudhar ja (Dauntless) … you left several parts …. you and I have a deal .. don’t try to blackmail me !!

    Reply
  10. Rebellious says:
    28th February 2019 at 1:53 am

    Is there a way to describe Precious?
    The most precious jewels are not made of stones, but of flesh.
    Tusi open book ho with lots of unfold mysteries.

    Reply

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